Five Minutes Late: A Romantic Comedy Read online

  “Then why did she smack you?”

  Cedric had wondered the exact same thing. He’d replayed the scene over and over again in his head. “Good question. I think it has something to do with her boss, who walked in on us during the kiss. Maybe Ellie didn’t want Peggy to think she initiated a kiss at work.”

  “That’s a good possibility. Look, I have to run. Stop by for dinner on Sunday and you can fill me in on the latest. Sam and Lucie are coming over and I’m going to fire up the barbecue. Six o’clock.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Cedric pocketed his cell and entered the library, looking for Ellie. He stood at the information desk for a moment, tapping his fingers on the counter. A body popped up from underneath the counter and scared the hell out of him.

  Julio.

  Cedric jumped back. “Whoa, nice trick. Can you also pull a rabbit out of a hat?”

  “I’m not sure what you mean. Is that the same as kissing someone between the rabbit ears?”

  “Uh …” Cedric was positive that Julio was referring to something sexual, but he didn’t want to go there.

  “What can I do for you?” asked Julio.

  “I just wanted to speak with Ellie for a moment.”

  “Didn’t get enough abuse the last time you saw her?”

  Julio knew about the slap.

  “Don’t look so surprised. Ellie tells me everything.”

  “Of course. Makes sense.”

  “Anyway, she’s off today.”

  There goes that plan.

  “I thought she worked Wednesday through Saturday.”

  “Normally, she does, but …”

  Cedric waited for Julio to finish the sentence. Maybe he needed help.

  “But?”

  “I guess I can tell you. Ellie’s brother died. The memorial is today.”

  No wonder she didn’t call him back. She had bigger things to deal with.

  “God,” Cedric mumbled.

  It’s the most horrible experience a person can have, losing a loved one. He wondered how she was doing and if she had someone to console her. He wanted to be that someone.

  “How is she doing?” asked Cedric.

  “Not so good. I wish I could be there with her, but someone had to hold down the fort here since she and Peggy are at the memorial.”

  Cedric looked around the library, deep in thought. “Do you mind telling me where the memorial is being held?”

  “At that funeral home in downtown Campbell.” He looked at his watch. “I don’t remember the name of the place, but it’s happening right now.”

  Cedric smiled. “I know the place. Thanks.”

  “No worries. Oh, and if you see a tall guy who looks like a cross between Christopher Walken and Brad Pitt, try to avoid him. That’s Ellie’s ex and he is a world-class loser.”

  “I know exactly who he is and that’s good advice, thanks.”

  One minute later, Cedric was sitting in his car with the engine idling, contemplating his next move. Stepping inside the funeral home would bring back painful memories. Maybe he could just drop off some flowers and a card—let her know he was thinking about her.

  He shook his head. “That’s bullshit. It’s not enough.”

  When Cedric’s mom and girlfriend died, the cards and flowers from friends and acquaintances came pouring in. Most of them said the same thing: sorry for your loss; she’s in heaven now; she’s in a much more peaceful place; she’s with us in spirit; she’s looking down on you right now, smiling. Cedric now knew how they felt. It’s an awkward situation and nobody should have to go through it. He wanted to give Ellie more. He wanted to physically be there for her and let her know everything was going to be okay.

  “Don’t be a pussy. Go.”

  He had to stop thinking about himself, like Michael had told him. He had to do it for her.

  “Let’s do this.”

  Cedric’s mind was made up and he felt good about it. He put the car in drive and headed toward Campbell.

  He stopped by Citti’s Florist and found a beautiful gardenia plant in a rustic flowerpot that transmitted peace and happiness. He was also able to find a nice card to go with it. The closer he got to the funeral home, the better he felt about the decision he’d made.

  *****

  With card and gardenia plant in hand, he stood outside of the funeral home staring at the front door that was open. This was going to be harder than he thought.

  “You can do it. Do it for her.”

  An older woman with white hair stood at the entrance and waved him over. She handed him a memorial card. “Please come in, don’t be shy. The service is still going on.”

  Cedric forced a smile and felt embarrassed. “Okay.”

  “There’s room in the back row, if it makes it any easier. The presence and support of the friends and loved ones is beneficial to those who are mourning.”

  She’s seen a person’s hesitation before, obviously. Death was not easy to cope with. There were probably more than a few people who skipped the service and just sent a card in the mail. Cedric had contemplated the same thing in the library. But the woman was right. It would be beneficial to Ellie. The more support the better.

  The woman held out her hand and Cedric grabbed it. “I’m Gladys.” She led him inside. So sweet and so calm, Cedric instantly felt relaxed.

  “Thank you, Gladys, you’re very kind. Do you have a pen I can borrow?”

  “Of course.” Gladys reached into a drawer and grabbed one for him.

  “Thanks. I’ll get it back to you on the way out.”

  “Not necessary. Those are handouts.”

  Cedric smiled and entered the sanctuary, looking around. The room was packed and all eyes were on the slideshow upfront.

  He sat in an open seat in the last row and placed the plant on the seat next to him. It was amazing how many people were there, but Ellie was nowhere in sight. The slideshow continued as the guests sniffed and cried. A silly picture appeared on the screen of a man dressed up as a pink pig on Halloween, bringing a few people to laughter.

  Cedric filled out the card, occasionally looking up at the slideshow. He finished writing and slid the card in the envelope, just as the slideshow ended. A woman stood and walked toward the podium.

  Ellie.

  “Hi. I’m Ellie, Derek’s little sister.”

  She looked around the room as she fidgeted with her necklace.

  “I don’t know what to say today except…” she looked down for a moment, trying to regain her composure “…Derek was an angel.”

  Cedric recalled being in that exact same spot, trying to find the words to express how he felt about his mom and about his girlfriend. It was the most difficult thing he had to do in his entire life.

  Ellie cleared her throat and continued.

  “He wasn’t like a brother to me. He was more like my best friend. He used to call me almost every day when I was down at UCLA. He knew how hard it was for me to be away from home. If it weren’t for him, I probably would have given up. Nobody knew he called me. That’s the way he was, such a giving person, and he didn’t make a big deal about it. He never expected anything in return, and he never bragged or boasted about anything.”

  She looked down and sniffled, obviously trying to hold back the tears. Then she smiled.

  “Well, unless you count how he used to always say that former President Gerald Ford had been a park ranger at Yellowstone … just like him. I think he may have told me that a thousand times.” Many of the guests laughed. “He loved his job. But it was tragic how he died.”

  More people sniffled and Cedric started to get misty-eyed himself.

  “He spent his days protecting the wildlife at Yellowstone, so it was sort of ironic he swerved off the road to avoid hitting a bison and ended up crashing his car into a tree. But he didn’t suffer, that’s a good thing, and he had a chance to do something he was passionate about.”

  Ellie wiped her eyes and struggled to get out her last few
words. “I’m running out of family members.”

  Cedric watched as a tall, well-built man rushed to Ellie.

  Vlad.

  What the hell was he doing here? Vlad put his arm around Ellie as he leaned into the microphone. “Thank you for coming. Please help yourself to refreshments in the next room.” He pulled Ellie closer and then kissed her on the top of the head.

  Then the unexpected happened. Vlad made eye contact with Cedric in the back row and winked at him. Then he kissed Ellie again.

  This time on the lips.

  That kiss on the lips was equivalent to someone slamming a sledgehammer into the side of Cedric’s head, the energy drained from his body.

  Shit. Were they back together? It happened when people were vulnerable, he knew that, but could it be?

  Cedric stood to leave, but glanced one more time at Ellie, feeling dejected. He watched as Ellie turned and entered the room behind the podium. Vlad glanced over to Cedric and walked in his direction.

  Great.

  Getting in Cedric’s face, Vlad asked, “What are you doing here?”

  Cedric didn’t answer. He wasn’t dumb enough to start something with a cop—especially one with a chip on his shoulder. Add to that they were inside of a funeral home. Today was about Ellie mourning the death of her brother, and he was going to respect that and take the high road.

  Cedric walked past Vlad toward the exit.

  “I’m talking to you, asshole.” Vlad pushed Cedric in the back, knocking him into a row of chairs before he fell to the floor. Pouncing on Cedric, Vlad put him in a headlock. “Do you know who you’re messing with?”

  “Yes,” said Cedric, trying to break free. “Your name is Vlad and you’re Ellie’s psychotic ex-boyfriend.”

  Vlad tightened the grip on Cedric’s neck. “Let’s see how funny you think you are when you have a broken neck.”

  “What’s going on here?” asked Gladys, covering her mouth with her hand. “This is a place of mourning and you’re disrespecting the memory of a loved one.”

  From his uncomfortable vantage point on the floor, Cedric could see Ellie approaching and she did not look happy. “Are you kidding me? What are you doing?”

  “He doesn’t belong here,” said Vlad.

  “And you do?”

  “I came to pay my respects to your brother.”

  “My brother hated you, Vlad.”

  Vlad unlocked his arms from Cedric’s neck and got up. He brushed off his pants and took a step toward Ellie. “Okay, then. I came to support you.”

  “And this is how you want me to remember the memorial of my dead brother? By wresting like barbarians on the floor? You two should be ashamed of yourselves.”

  You two?

  Not good.

  “Please leave. Both of you. Out.”

  “I love you, Ellie,” said Vlad.

  “You have a funny way of showing it. Get out.”

  Vlad brushed off his pants and walked out the door.

  Cedric stood up and rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry, Ellie. Let me just straighten this out.” He picked up the chairs that were tipped over and grabbed a couple of programs from the floor. He was aware Ellie was watching him, but he didn’t look at her. He finally straightened out his shirt. “I’m truly sorry.”

  Ellie pointed to the door. “Out.”

  *****

  Cedric popped inside the gelato shop for a scoop of his favorite Strattiatella. Hopefully that would relax him as he tried to get over what happened at the funeral home.

  Ten minutes later, he approached his car and stopped, scratching his chin.

  Odd. The car seemed to be tilted lower on one side. He went around to the passenger side of the car and saw what he was hoping not to see. A flat tire.

  He checked out the tread on the tire, searching for a nail or screw or something but didn’t find it.

  “What the …”

  Someone slashed his tire.

  He looked over at some of the other cars to see if anyone else had slashed tires, but the other cars looked okay.

  “Someone’s messing with me,” Cedric said to himself.

  Vlad. It had to be him. Of course he had no proof.

  Cedric threw his keys, phone, and wallet inside the car on the passenger seat and removed the spare from the trunk. After he jacked up the car and slid the flat tire off, a convertible Corvette pulled alongside him.

  “What a shame,” said Vlad from inside the car. The look on his face couldn’t have been any cockier. “Looks like someone has a flat. How did that happen?”

  Cedric didn’t respond and continued to change the tire.

  “You know I have the power to make your life a living hell.”

  Cedric continued working.

  “Stay away from Ellie.” Vlad laughed and took off, his laughter fading in the distance.

  What the hell did Ellie see in that guy? One thing was for sure, Vlad had something to do with the flat tire and the tickets.

  Cedric finished putting on the spare tire, got back in the car, and rubbed some hand sanitizer on his hands before he noticed that the contents of his wallet had spilled out over the passenger seat. As he retrieved his ID, credit cards, and other various items, he eyed the chronic fainter’s business card.

  Owen Fitzpatrick.

  The thought of tennis popped into his head, but was immediately erased after Cedric saw Owen’s occupation. Private Investigator.

  Cedric grabbed his phone and dialed Owen’s number.

  “Owen Fitzpatrick,” he answered.

  “Owen, it’s Cedric Johnson, do you remember me?”

  “Cedric! Of course I remember, good to hear from you. You changed your mind about tennis?”

  “Yes, and I know it’s last minute but I wanted to see if you were available this evening to play.”

  “I’d love to.”

  “Great. And just so I don’t blindside you with it, I have a … situation. Maybe you can help me with it.”

  Owen laughed. “Not a problem. I happen to specialize in situations.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ellie couldn’t believe it: two grown men wrestling on the floor of the funeral home.

  “I’m sorry, Ellie,” said Gladys. “I should have been paying more attention.”

  “Don’t be silly. There was nothing you could have done. It was just a case of too much testosterone in one place. A simple castration for both of them will take care of the problem.”

  Gladys laughed. “It’s good to see you still have a sense of humor. It helps in times like these, but only one castration is necessary. The man in the black polo shirt was on his way out and didn’t instigate it.”

  Ellie smiled. “Thanks Gladys, that’s good to know. Thanks for everything.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Ellie should have known Vlad started it. Cedric didn’t seem like a violent or unstable person. Odd, maybe, but that was nothing to be worried about.

  “My little sunshine.” Grandpa Frank approached and kissed Ellie on the cheek. “Don’t worry about your brother. He’s in a peaceful place now. No stress. No traffic.”

  “I know. He’s with mom and Grandma now. I know he’s not suffering, but I certainly am.”

  “Grieving is normal. Just because we’ve done it before doesn’t make it any easier, does it?”

  “No.”

  He smiled. “Go join everyone in the other room and get something to eat.”

  She kissed Grandpa Frank on the cheek. “Thanks, I will. You’re the best.”

  Ellie saw the beautiful pot of gardenias on one of the seats in the last row.

  “How beautiful.” She smelled the gardenias and then opened the small envelope attached to the pot, pulling out the card.

  Dear Ellie,

  I’m not always the best in expressing myself. No doubt you’ve heard the expression, “Actions speak louder than words.” Well, I did some research at my local library (wink wink) and discovered the number one thing I could do for a
person who lost a loved one. Please see the back of my enclosed business card for the answer. And no, it’s not a fifty-eight hour kiss! (Although I could easily be talked into it)

  Sincerely,

  Cedric (the horse’s ass with the horrendous British accent)

  Ellie pulled the business card from the envelope and read it.

  Cedric Johnson. Owner - Papa George’s Heirloom Garlic.

  She turned the business car over and smiled as she read it out loud.

  “This card is good for one free thirty second hug. There is no expiration date. Void where prohibited.”

  Ellie felt a warm feeling pass through her veins when she read it. That was sweet and so different. She needed that hug badly.

  She was surprised when she saw Cedric this afternoon, because it seemed as if he cared. But that fracas with Vlad left a bad taste in her mouth.

  She read the card again and smiled when she read the horse’s ass part. He was obviously trying to make her smile during a difficult time. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all. The truth was, even when she was mad at him or confused, she still wanted to kiss him badly. That kiss they shared in the library was off the charts.

  Ellie froze when she thought of the kissing, as something horrible popped into her head.

  Cedric saw Vlad kiss her. On the lips.

  Pickles!

  She visited with the guests for an hour and proceeded to clean up, putting paper cups and plates in the garbage can. She admired the flowers and arrangements on the counter. She picked up the gardenias from Cedric and smelled them again. But how did he know she loved them? They seemed to comfort her. She felt peace as tears streamed down her face.

  Grandpa Frank entered the room. “Now, now. What’s going on in here? It’s going to take some time, you know.” He put his arm around Ellie and smiled.